any good jokes?

[Pegasus1]

MY DADDY SLEEPS NAKED-THIS IS REALLY FUNNY "Late again!" the third-grade teacher sternly said to little Johnny. "It ain't my fault this time, Miss Russell. You can blame this 'un on my Daddy. The reason I'm three hours late is my Daddy sleeps naked!" Now, Miss Russell had taught grammar school for thirty-some-odd years. Despite her mounting fears, she asked little Johnny what he meant by that. Full of grins and mischief, and in the flower of his youth, little Johnny and trouble were old friends,...... but he always told her the truth. "You see, Miss Russell, out at the farm we got this here low down fox. The last few nights, he done ate six hens. Last night, when Daddy heard a noise out in the chicken pen, he grabbed his double barreledshot gun and said to my Ma, "That fox is back again... I'm a gonna git him!'' "Stay back," Daddy whispered to all us kids! "My Daddy was naked as a jaybird -- no boots, no pants, no shirt! To the hen house he crawled, just like an Injun on the snoop. Then, he stuck that double-barreled 12-gauge shot gun through the window of the coop. As he stared into the darkness, with a fox on his mind, our old hound dog, Rip, had done gone and woke up and comes sneaking up behind Daddy. Then, as we all looked on, plumb helpless, old Rip done went and stuck his cold nose in my Daddy's crack!" "Miss Russell, we all been cleanin' chickens since three o'clock this mornin!"

[Pegasus1]

Maybe you have seen some of these...

[Alfa-Stu]

One day an Irishman moves to a new town in England and walks into his new local pub. He walks up to the bar, alone, and asks for three pints of Guinness. The bar tender pours the pints and the Irishman sits down at a table by himself and proceeds to sip on each one in turn until they are empty, nods his head at the bartender, and then leaves.

He does this for a few more days and the bartender asks why he doesn't just order one at a time. The Irishman explains that back home he and his two brothers would always go to their local (pub) after work and have a pint with each other - when he left they all made a pact that they would each go into their local and order three pints and drink them to honor each other and their wonderful childhood.

The bartender understands and the Irishman becomes a daily customer, always ordering three pints of the black stuff and drinking them in turn. One evening, however, the Irishman walks in and orders just two pints. With a solemn look, the bartender says "oh no, I am very sorry for your loss".

"oh no no no," says the Irishman, "its nothing like that - I've just quit drinking"

[G Steezy]

I got so drunk last night I African American'd out.